


Remembering the past differently

by shieldbearer



Series: Shame on you, Steve. Forever yours [6]
Category: Captain America, Hawkeye-Fandom
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha trapped inside the body of an Omega, Alpha/Omega, Bad Loki, Brainwashing, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Needs a Hug, Clint's past, Doppelganger, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Good Loki, Happy Ending, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Omega Clint Barton, Omega Verse, Prophecy, Protective Steve Rogers, Resistance, Sorting things out, Stillbirth, heat-freeform, non-consensual bonding, putting things straight, unrelenting Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 06:38:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10961754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shieldbearer/pseuds/shieldbearer
Summary: Clint thought it couldn’t get worse when Steve bonded him against his will. But his whole world dares to crash down when he finds out that he never led his life the way he remembers it.





	Remembering the past differently

_Hear Midgard’s fate._

_A man will come. Low in gender. High in spirit. Brave at heart._

_His arrival will change the world. – He will set it on fire._

* * *

_-43 years later_

Agitated, the red-haired woman known as Black Widow or simply Natasha yelled at Steve who sat downcasted on the edge of the bed, pressing an ice pack against his maltreated head: “You have what?!” She tore her hair. “You haven’t seriously given Clint your blessing to go to Hydra to let himself inject a drug cocktail that might turn him into an Alpha or a dead man. You can’t trust Hydra! Do you know what they could do to him?” Her voice went shrill. Being worried about her best friend, she couldn’t stop yelling at the picture of misery that sat in front of her. Only silently, Steve dared to speak up: “I can’t decide over his life.” Furiously, Natasha interrupted him: “Sure you can’t. But you could have tried to change his opinion. Ever heard that you can reason with people? Gosh, Clint is going to die and..”

“Hey, Nat. Hey, Steve.” A dark blond haired man stood in the doorframe and looked at the arguing people, scratching his head sheepishly. Natasha squinched her eyes shut, opened them again and ran with an unbelieving and surprised expression towards the visitor. With a happy “Clint!” she clasped him in her arms and didn’t let go of him anymore.

After quite a while, Steve tabbed carefully at her shoulder and caused the two to end their hugging marathon. Confused but also happy about the return of the archer who had – literally – hammered home to him not even an hour ago that he would ask Hydra for help to turn him with a Super Soldier serum into an Alpha, he asked: “Why did you come back? Did you forget something?” Natasha elbowed him and beamed with joy: “Don’t listen to him. We are glad that you are here.”

A little bit disgruntled, Steve murmured: “Never said anything else.” But then, he went insecure and addressed Clint. “So do you.. Are you going to stay?” As a precaution, he increased the distance between them, hiding as good as he could behind Natasha, in case the Omega, who was anything but happy to be bonded with him, would freak out again.

But the asked nodded only and explained: “Asking Hydra for the serum is a stupid idea. I should stay where you are.”

Natasha and Steve exchanged glances. The soldier‘s brow shot up. Although he couldn’t be more relieved over the return of his Omega, he couldn’t get rid of the impression that there was something wrong. From one moment to the next, Clint changed from being so angry about him that he almost had killed him and being absolutely determined to follow his dream to simply coming back and giving up all his plans. There was something fishy about it. Steve just couldn’t tell what.

* * *

_-at the same time, not far away_

Absolutely high-spirited and excited, Clint exclaimed already before he was around the corner where he and his new friend had their little shelter: “Aaron, I’ve made it! I visited Steve and told him about my plans. Guess what? He gave me his blessings! Can you believe that?”

He walked into the room and dragged his hoodie that got wet by the rain over his head. Getting stuck, he struggled, tugging on the sleeves and continued talking, his voice sounding muffled: “Y’know, I feel a little bit bad though. I mean I can’t let him die, can I? I know what he has done to me is horrible..” Clint trailed off and remembered how Steve had bonded him against his will. Pushing that unpleasant thought aside, he went on fighting with his hoodie to get rid of the wet thing and continued speaking: “..but killing him because of that? I battered him pretty badly. So I had my revenge. And going to Hydra asking them for the serum is a stupid idea after all. I mean I can’t simply go to their base and say ‘Hey, I’m here! Please, help me.’ Can I?”

“Of course you can! That’s exactly what you are going to do!”

The archer made it finally out of his pullover and flinched back in shock. This wasn’t the voice of his friend Aaron who was also an Omega and lived together with him in an old vacant house since a couple of weeks.

As the room was only illuminated by a small campfire and was apart from that very dark, the archer couldn’t see who sat at the fireplace. Slowly, he went closer, reaching secretly for his dagger. The person who had talked to him got up. The man was tall and slender, had long hair and seemed to wear a long coat. But although the intruder had made a step back so that he stood in the shadow, Clint saw the pauldron and the green and golden color of the coat which was actually an impressive armor and realized immediately who his uninvited visitor was.

“Loki!” hissed he and sounded as if it was the worst cussword he knew.

Seeing the man of whom he had thought that he was locked away in a prison on Asgard approaching him, he backed away. A second, he hesitated but then he decided that it was better to run away no matter if he looked like a coward by doing so, being well aware that he wouldn’t stand a chance against Loki without proper gear. However, before he could turn around, the picture of the wannabe-God dissolved. Too late, Clint realized that he had fallen for one of the trickster’s illusions and felt at the same moment someone standing behind him. His hackles raised and slowly, very slowly, he turned around, his fingers clutching the handle of his weapon.

Loki wasn’t intimidated by the sharp blade, greeted him grinning his unique smile and holding his scepter in his right hand. “I see I made a lasting impression on you.”

Not caring for the mockery, Clint stared disbelievingly at the scepter and whispered: “But that’s not possible. The scepter has been destroyed.” The color drained from his cheeks and in the blink of an eye, he felt extremely sick. He tumbled backward and searched for something he could hold on, couldn’t find anything though.

“The scepter indeed. But it was just a nice shell. Nothing that couldn’t be replaced. The stone, however, is still intact.” As if to prove it, the Infinity stone flashed up blue for a short moment and bathed the room in a cold light.

It was almost not possible for Clint to get even paler as he was as white as a ghost already but the last bit of blood drained from his face and his legs refused the service. Breaking out in a cold sweat, he slumped down. The dagger got out of his hand and fell loud clattering to the ground. “No, no, no.” Clint was aghast. His fate didn’t mean well for him lately. First, Steve had claimed him and now this maniac seemed to have come back to do the same. What had he done wrong to have earned that? Why did everyone want to hold sway over him? Embittered, he gave himself the answer: because he was an Omega.

Loki seemed to like it how Clint sat with bowed head kneeling in front of him and enjoyed the sight before he walked fleet-footed past him to sit down at the fire again, not losing him out of his eyes though.

“I just wanted to control if you’ve done everything like I wanted,” said he, poking in the coals with his new scepter.

Clint didn’t understand what Loki meant with this and if he was honest, he didn’t care. Overcoming his state of shock, he crawled towards the door on all fours, jumped to his feet eventually, and ran towards it. However, Loki just lifted his arm slightly and where had been an escape route was only a brick wall left. He snapped his fingers and the broken window disappeared as well. Now, the whole room consisted just out of walls without any exit possibility. Believing that it was just another illusion, Clint didn’t let himself be stopped by that and continued his way, not slowing down. His flight came to an abrupt end when he bloodied his nose at the really existing wall. Contorting his face in pain, he held his nose, turned around and yelled angrily: “What do you want from me? And what have you done to Aaron?”

The master of illusion grinned again and the archer’s eyes went big. “You.. You weren’t him? I mean, you are not Aaron, are you?” stammered Clint. He had trusted Aaron. Had become his friend. Had felt understood. If Loki took that away from him now it wouldn’t be only like taking away the only person he trusted but also crushing his last hopes for a better life.

“Sit down,” invited Loki him politely and padded with his hand on the moving carton next to him that functioned Clint and Aaron as chair alternatives.

The trapped man didn’t dream of following this maniac and resisted to do so. All of a sudden, he felt long, delicate and at the same time incredibly strong fingers around his neck, choking him and dragging him to the fireplace. Dauntingly, Loki breathed into his ear: “I told you to sit down!”

As Loki had used the weak point of all Omegas, Clint hadn’t the strength to fight against the adopted brother of Thor and resigned himself to his fate. In silence, he stared at his visitor who seemed to have already forgotten this short interlude and appeared to be very gleeful as if nothing had happened. With his heart thumping away, Clint searched for signs that revealed if Loki had been Aaron but of course he couldn’t find any hints. Neither in his features, his posture, nor in the way he behaved and spoke.

 

_Help him arise out of the darkness. Teach him how to fly. Give him a place to be._

_Or watch how his voyage that will turn earth into a Phoenix is stopped before it starts._

 

“Let me tell you a story.”

Clint wanted to say: “No thanks,” but Loki hushed him and went on: “It’s a story that started over twenty years ago. It’s a story about a young man..”

“Not wanting to interrupt your _exciting_ story,” Clint made quotation marks into the air when he said ‘exciting’, “but starting every sentence with ‘it’s a story..’ isn’t really that great. Gets boring, y’know?”

Loki leaned in closer to Clint and asked: “Oh really? Although if I tell you that the protagonist of this story is you?”

There was no answer of the marksman. Only the crackling of the fire interrupted the silence till Clint’s enemy decided to go on: “I think it was during February.. Oh no, wait, it was already March when I paid Midgard a visit, walked along an alley and a boy dressed only in a pair of dirty trousers bumped into me. He didn’t wear shoes; had no shirt. Nothing. Just the trousers and a book clenched in his hands…”

_“Sorry, sir!” The eighteen years old Clint was about picking himself up and wanted to keep running, although he didn’t know where to go. The only thing he knew was that he had to get as far away as possible from his brother who just had tried to sell him to an Alpha. Only four days ago he had presented as an Omega and since that moment his whole world stood upside down._

_The elegantly dressed man with shoulder-length black hair held his hand out to him to help him up. Only tentatively, Clint reached for it. He wasn’t keen to get caught in the clutches of another Alpha within less than an hour of having run away from his brother and the guy who had been supposed to be his future owner. Inhaling deeply the scent of the gentleman, he couldn’t smell Alpha pheromones though. It had been one of the first things he had learned when he had turned into an Omega. His scenting ability was suddenly way better and he was able to tell just by the smell of a person of which gender he or she was. The man above him, however, was neither surrounded by the typical scent of an Alpha nor of an Omega. Clint even wasn’t sure if it was a Beta but as nothing else was left, it had to be so. And a Beta wasn’t dangerous to him. So he took the hand and stood up. The warmth that emanated from the stranger's hand did the freezing Omega good and he held a moment longer onto it than necessary to enjoy it. But finally, he broke the contact. “Thank you, sir.” He turned away to continue his aimless way but was held back. “Wait. Isn’t it a little bit cold without shoes and clothing? Come with me, I’m taking care of you.”_

“And that’s the way we met,” ended Loki his narration. Clint increased the distance to the man next to him, his eyes getting big. Then, he jumped up and yelled: “You lie!” He shook his head. It couldn’t be. Loki didn’t help him, a desperate boy that had ended up in the gutter. He didn’t follow this insane person by his own will. They had met the first time short before the battle in New York. Loki was just trying to harrow him emotionally because he loved to play with people’s fears and he knew that his biggest fear was to lose his mind and control over himself. His memories of the time he had lived on the street were blurred but there was no Loki in his version of his past. No. It simply had to be a bad lie.

Loki, however, smiled. “Oh no. You really accepted my help and stayed with me for twenty years.”

Clint huffed disdainfully: “Now you went too far. I could have believed the fact that we met before but I didn’t stay with you for such a long time. I lived on the street. I…”

“Do you really think you were able to survive like this as an Omega for two decades? I just deleted your mind and gave you new memories when I brought you back to Midgard.”

Aghast, Clint looked up: “Wait, what? Are you seriously telling me, I wasn’t on earth during my youth?” He huffed: “I don’t believe you a word. And now get out of my home!”

Loki stood up indeed. But not to leave. Instead, he touched Clint’s head. The archer flinched back and slapped the hand away. His breath went fast and he looked haunted around if there really wasn’t a way out. But there was none. Almost gently, Loki laid his fingertips on his temples and Clint felt how his fainted memories got slowly crystal clear and showed him a completely different past than he thought was his.

Pictures of a friendly Loki appeared in his mind’s eye. Loki who helped him. Loki who gave him new clothes. Loki who organized the first suppressants he ever had. Loki who held him tight in his arms and tried to comfort him when the pills hadn’t worked for some reason and he had been hit by heat with full force.

“No, you are not showing me the truth!” gasped Clint out. “You are not like this! You are mean, devious and selfish! You are not…” The Omega finished his sentence only in his mind, not finding the strength to speak it out loud. “…the only one who ever cared for me.” It always had been hard for Clint to accept that no one had loved him when he had grown up but he preferred that version of his past over the possibility that Loki had treated him like a friend or even more..

Loki contorted his face and looked like he didn’t want to show the archer more but the grim glance of Clint made him lift his hands again and a new series of long lost memories appeared.

_“Please sir, I don’t want this.” The twenty-year-old Clint sat in the king-sized bed of Loki and pushed the hand away that roamed over his naked upper body. Unrelentingly, fingers were placed around his neck and he was pressed into the mattress. “You want this too, do you understand?” Clint’s eyes watered and his head turned red as he couldn’t breathe anymore. He struggled only weakly against the grasp and nodded finally being filled with fear. The pressure around his neck disappeared and only white fingerprints that slowly faded away remembered about Loki’s outburst of anger. Gently, the fingers wandered down to his belly, circled his belly button and reached for his boxer shorts. The young man had one hand clenched into the fabric as if he wanted to make sure that they stayed where they were but a glance of his master made him open his hand and allowed it Loki to drag his boxers away. Wet lips were placed softly on his and obediently he opened his mouth. He felt how Loki reached for his member and stroked over it, not breaking their kiss though._

“Enough!” Clint screamed and broke the contact between Loki and him. He didn’t want to see more. The God only quipped: “You sure? The whole fun is only about starting now..”

“That’s no fun. You.. You..” Clint was at a loss for words. He had to sit down and buried his head in his hands. Steve had been the first person he had intercourse with. At least, he had believed that till a second ago. Apparently – if Loki said the truth - that was wrong. Gritting his teeth, he asked without looking at Loki: “How often?”

The trickster giggled: “Oh twenty years is a long time. I just wished you would have slept with me without me having to help along every time.”

Angrily, Loki bit his lips. The last statement had slipped accidentally. He hadn’t wanted to remember Clint that he hadn’t managed over all this time to convince him that they would be a great couple. All those years, Clint had tried to run away again and again but he had had no chance as Loki had chosen a planet where there were no people which Clint could have asked for help. And there were also no places where he could have hide. Just debris and stones. The trickster had caught his fugitive boy countless times and as often as he had to bring him back, he had punished him. Had injured him severely and had healed his wounds when he had been of the opinion that his boy had suffered enough and learned his lesson. He was his worst enemy but at the same time his only reference person and hoped that the Omega would give in one day and be his friend. But Clint never grew tired of fighting him whenever he could.

Bitterness spread inside Loki when he thought about that. Immersed in those memories, he accidentally showed Clint another deleted memory which he had never wanted to give the archer back.

_In pain, Clint pressed his hands on his body and sank on his knees. Clenching his round belly desperately, he tried to hold on to the little baby that grew inside him as he felt instinctive that he was about losing it._

_Loki entered unsuspectingly the room and looked astounded at his partner on the floor, not understanding what was going on._

_Beseechingly, Clint looked up and although he didn’t speak a word, his wide eyes said clearly: “Help us!”_

_This pure vulnerability which the archer hadn’t shown once during the whole time they had been together, made Loki forget his partly majestic, partly haughty posture. With two swift steps, he was kneeling next to his boy, laying his hand on Clint’s belly too._

_Barely hearable, Clint whined: “I’m losing it. I’m losing my child!” Tears streamed over his face and he didn’t notice how he was lifted up by Loki, as well as he didn’t take note how he was held in his arms and how the God left for the first time since two decades the planet he had chosen for him to get help at Midgard, because although the Midgardians were rather primitive, they knew what Clint needed right now._

_But it was too late. Everywhere was blood and Clint had not only lost their child. – He also had lost all senses. Shaken by sobs, he cried: “It’s all my fault. I didn’t want the child and now it’s dead. God, what have I done? I’ve killed it! I killed a child!” But he also flailed around in pure rage. “You bastard! You knew exactly that we can’t get a child. It’s genetically impossible. You knew it all the time and still, you forced yourself upon me.”_

_Clint started to yell even louder at Loki and hammered with his fists feebly against the God who held him silently in his arms, rocking him soothingly back and forth. He wanted to drown out his own bad conscience as although he blamed Loki that they had a child, after all, he knew it was his wrongdoing too. He could have asked for birth control but he hadn’t as he -if he was entirely honest - had wanted a child. Of course not from Loki. And not because he wanted to be a good parent and looked forward to raising a child. Oh no. It was just a selfish reason: He had only wanted a kid so he wouldn’t be so alone on this godforsaken planet anymore._

“This isn’t true. Tell me that this is a lie!” Clint reached for his belly and looked through a blur of tears to the man standing in front of him.

Loki only tugged on the archer’s shirt and said: “See the scar?” He had problems keeping his emotionless, distanced mask up.

Bending his head, Clint saw the long white scar that went over his belly. He shook his head and almost relieved, he accused: “I knew you are a liar. This is just what is left of a knife combat.” Then he added more to himself than to Loki: “Gosh, I almost fell for that nonsense..”

Loki’s features hardened and he crossed his arms. He didn’t like the way Clint spoke to him. More spiteful than intended, he hissed: “It’s so easy to make you believe things that never happened. There was never such a fight. Doctors cut you open a little bit before they took their bare hands and ripped you open till they could get out the carcass of your child.”

Slowly, Clint let his fingertips glide over the scar and his look went blank. It seemed like he couldn’t process what Loki just had told him. He was torn between the two versions of his past and which one he should believe. Being well aware that the God of mischief could easily lie to him, he still asked: “It’s not true, right? You are just making fun of me. You just want to see me suffer.” He kept staring at his scar but then he searched for Loki’s eyes and yelled: “Tell me that I’ve never been pregnant! Give me back my real memories!”

He already could hardly bear that Loki had taken his mind once and had made with it what he wanted. But at least he always had had something he could hold onto during this time. His past had slowly faded away but it had been there so he could clench to it and comfort himself during those bad days. But that this devil deleted his past and replaced it with such horrible things was simply too much for him.

There wasn’t anything left of Loki’s contemptuous attitude when he answered with a voice full of pain: “I’m sorry, Clint. We really had a child. A son. He was so small and fragile.” Loki swallowed down the lump that had built in his throat and tried to regain his composure. “He was heavily deformed and not viable as I’m not an Alpha. Such genders only exist here on Midgard.” Clint sobbed convulsively and meant to see tears glittering in the eyes of Loki as well but wasn’t sure if there really were tears and even if… He couldn’t care less. He buried his head again in his arms. Softly, hands laid down on his shoulders and he was dragged into a hug. “I named him Francis after his brave father.”

“What..?” Clint’s voice was tearful and he couldn’t continue talking.

“I buried him, brought you back to Midgard and deleted your memories. You would have been broken if I kept you.”

Loki averted his eyes. He knew about his reputation as a monster but he wasn’t one. Clint had heart and he didn’t want to be the reason to break it.

Only slowly the real meaning of all what he had just learned trickled into Clint’s brain. He had not only been Loki’s prisoner for twenty years what meant that almost his whole life had been just a lie. No, he also had conceived a child with this insane guy and lost it. Was this the reason why he sometimes woke up being drenched in sweat, having the feeling like he missed someone so much that his heart felt like it would splinter? He always had thought it was because of his deceased mom but now..

He opened his mouth as if he wanted to scream out all his pain but no cry escaped his lips. Silently, tears streamed over his face and he kept screaming his voiceless screams in agony. His head started to ache and felt like it would burst any second whilst his heart was ripped out of his chest and left a black hole that seemed to grow bigger and bigger and consumed him finally. Merciful darkness enfolded Clint, his tensed body relaxed and collapsed.

***

When Clint came round, he found himself in the arms of Loki who stroked caringly over his hair. Aghast, he escaped them, shouting: “Yell at me that I’m beneath you. Tell me that I’m a nothing. Just stop the fuck being nice to me!”

Loki seemed to be genuinely hurt by those words. A mix of anger but also sadness flashed over his face. However, he didn’t say anything.

The archer pressed himself into the corner which was the furthest away and shook uncontrolled. He had to find something that proofed that Loki just made a fool out of him. Anything. Just a little hint. An inconsistency. So he asked with unsteady voice: “Why haven’t you brought me under your control with your scepter back then?”

“I hadn’t the scepter during those days.”

“You could have used another magic. Why did you want to break me the old way?” Loki’s eyes went sad and he turned away but he answered Clint’s question nevertheless. “I didn’t want to break you. I wanted to have a person in my life who stays by my side by choice. Someone whom I haven’t forced to be with me. Someone who’s with me because he wants to be with me. A friend.” He got an idle glance and his voice wavered when he said the word “friend” as if it was something very special. An expression he didn’t use often.

Clint was surprised by the personality change of Loki who behaved today completely differently than usually, but still, he stated only angrily: “You’ve bottled me up for twenty fucking years on that damn planet. You beat me. You whipped me. You even stabbed me.” He reached with a trembling hand for his back. Suddenly, all those barely visible scars whose origin he never could explain to himself made sense. Loki had inflicted them upon them and as he had done it so often, his healing spells hadn’t been good enough to get rid of all signs. Bile raised in his throat.

“I just needed time to convince you and you had everything you wanted.” Loki had himself under control again. The moment of vulnerability was as sudden over as it had come. The emotionless mask with a hint of superiority fit again perfectly.

The shocked Omega disagreed: “Really? What’s about love? I mean _real_ love. Freedom? A choice? And by the way, that’s not how you gain friends. Torturing someone till he can’t withstand any longer and taking every perspective is not the way you convince people. That’s exactly how you break someone. And if you came to bring me back..”

“No, that’s not why I came. The prophecy…” Quickly, Loki closed his mouth. He shouldn’t tell his love too much. Yes, he still had after all this time feelings for the stubborn Omega. Well, for him the period of a couple of decades was just the blink of an eye. So it felt for him like it was just yesterday when he had let Clint leave him. That was also a reason why he had chosen Clint when he went to Stuttgart. He had hoped to be able to take him away forever but it hadn’t worked.

Of course, the archer went curiously what he meant with prophecy. But the older man changed the subject and prompted him to get the serum injected by Hydra instead.

Clint tilted his head and eyed Loki interrogatively. “Why is it so important to you that I turn into an Alpha? And why the hell don’t you simply give me the serum? It’s a nothing for you to get it, isn’t it? We can both have what we want.”

He barely could believe himself that he was about to make a deal with his biggest enemy and hadn’t finished his last sentence completely when a thought popped into his mind. Was it really his wish to turn into an Alpha? Was it his own will or was it Loki who just used him like he had done in Stuttgart? The trickster wouldn’t mess around with his brain the first time. What if he had implanted the longing for transformation into his mind?

Exhausted, Clint ran his hand over his face. He hated it to realize that he might have again a puppeteer but he was too tired to get mad about it. He simply couldn’t go on any longer. It simply was so tiresome to have to fight constantly against people who wanted to rule over his life.

The –more or less – Asgardian didn’t notice the marksman’s resignation. He stretched and explained: “The prophecy… You have to do it on your own. I’m not allowed to intervene or it will have horrible consequences.”

Suddenly, life returned into Clint and he jumped upset on his feet, freaking out: “What goddamn prophecy? What has it to do with me?” He gestured wildly and kicked his seat into the fire which blazed up and made spooky shadows dance on the walls.

His glance becoming idle, Loki quoted the lines that had been told him many years ago:

_Hear Midgard’s fate._

_A man will come. Low in gender. High in spirit. Brave at heart._

_His arrival will change the world. – He will set it on fire._

_Help him arise out of the darkness. Teach him how to fly. Give him a place to be._

_Or watch how his voyage that will turn earth into a Phoenix is stopped before it starts._

_Once the hawk is set free, he gains true greatness._

_No power shall hold him back._

_A liquid will help him through the valley of pain and give him strength._

_Let him find his own way or else you shall be damned._

Clint listened slack-jawed but started giggling slightly hysterically, interrupting Loki who hadn’t quoted the whole prophecy yet. “And you think that’s about me?” laughed he and left no doubt that he thought that this was utter bullshit although he was worried a little bit inwardly.

Agitated, Loki jumped up. His shadow towered threateningly over Clint. Slowly and with a stern expression, he approached the archer. “Don’t you understand? You will divide the world. People will see that the system you are living in is wrong. Others will hold to it. It will end in a huge war. And that’s my cue. I will unite the fighting parties and become the ruler of Midgard. It will be a better place afterward when they have a leader they can follow. Something like what happened to you – being bonded against your will – will never happen again to any Omega. On their knees, everyone is the same, no matter if you are Alpha, Beta, or Omega.”

Slowly, the meaning of the prophecy made sense for Clint and he flipped Loki the bird. “I won’t be the reason that a civil war will break out. I’m not turning the world into ashes. I’ll stay an Omega.”

“Don’t you see it? We could rule the world. Together!”

Clint shook his head: “I’ve lived down on my knees long enough. Do you think I would do this to a single person?” He answered his question himself: “No. And I definitely won’t do it to earth’s whole population.”

“Clint, humans need someone who shows them the way,” objected Loki and repeated his question: “Don’t you see it? All those wars between nations for no reason. And all this suffering for nothing. Your nation is so close to a civil war. And it won’t stop at the borders of your country. It will spread all over the world.”

Shocked, Clint asked: “What do you mean with that?”

“You could be the trigger for a revolution as you are the perfect example that the structures and values on which world’s society is based on are wrong.”

“I don’t wanna be that.”

Loki sighed but didn’t give up convincing the Omega from his plan: “Think about it. If you change into an Alpha, you could change the whole world.”

Clint crossed his arms and retreated a little bit: “Maybe. But maybe I don’t wanna do this. I just want a better life. I don’t want innocent people to fight and die because of me. Since when are you interested in the wellbeing of the earth anyway?”

“The prophecy Clint. I truly believe that I can make a better place out of it. But I understand that you are afraid of such a burden.”

Angrily, the younger man objected: “Fuck the prophecy! And hey, I’m not a coward!”

The trickster rolled his eyes. “Never said that. Anyway. Start with helping yourself and get the serum. Maybe you think differently when you are not limited by your pathetic body anymore.”

Loki looked like he wanted to add something else but Clint lifted his hands defiantly. “No. The decision is made. I’m going back to Steve. He apologized and we will arrange somehow. Apparently, this is not about me anymore but about the whole world. Guess I have to cut back whether I want or not. And now, if you would let me through…” He tried to get past the taller man but Loki didn’t let him. And even if…there wouldn’t have been an exit. Grumpily, Clint turned around and faced the wall.

“So you want to stay weak and dependent? You could be so strong. That’s what you always wanted. Your dearest wish is within your grasp. You can free all the Omegas out of their slavery,“ cooed Loki enticingly.

Clint swirled around and asked aggressively: „Oh really? To lead them from one dictatorship into the next? And how should I know if it’s my wish? Maybe it’s just yours?”

“First of all: After what you’ve done to Steve as ‘your’ revenge…” Loki smirked and Clint understood suddenly that Loki had sent him to the Tower to injure the Captain. Again, all his energy left his body but this time a little bit of relief stayed as it was easier to forgive himself his own unrelenting behavior knowing that he hadn’t been clear in mind.

“…so you are not welcome anymore. But in case I’m wrong with that assumption, I sent Aaron to your friends. How practical such a lookalike is..” Loki traced his eyebrow with a finger and smirked smugly about his own idea of replacing Clint, so no one would miss him.

Howling furiously, Clint made a jump towards his enemy to shake him. “You bastard!”

Loki, however, didn’t retreat an inch and said unapologetically: “Yeah, yeah, I’m a monster. I know.” For a split second, almost not visible, sadness flashed across his face. To hide it, he looked demonstratively bored at his fingernails. “But I’m not the only one. Don’t forget what Steve has done to you.”

Crossing his arms, Clint was astounded to find himself defending Steve: “I told you, he apologized for the night he mated me.”

“And you forgive him just like that?” Loki snapped his fingers and raised doubtingly a brow. As the archer didn’t change his opinion, he added: “Well, and what’s about that?”

_An extremely painfully wave of heat ran through Clint’s body. He convulsed. Saliva dropped out of his mouth which he had opened to scream out his agony. With the last of his strength, he begged: „Please, Steve. Fuck me!“ but didn’t find the strength to look up to the Alpha who watched him. “Why should I?” asked Steve relentlessly. Clint wheezed and needed a long time to answer. Not only because he felt terribly weak but also because his brain seemed to have been replaced with cotton candy. He hardly could think clear anymore._

_“I need it!”_

_“Well if_ _you just need it.. I’m not a knotting machine,” made Steve clear in an allusion to Clint’s reproof, that he wasn’t just a birthing machine. Clint rolled his eyes in pain and panted: „I want it!“_

_„Well, we can’t always have what we want.“ Steve stayed unrelenting, looked disinterested out of the window and pretended that he didn’t care for the suffering man down to his feet._

_The fire inside Clint seemed to consume him and he rolled over the floor to cool it. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. Speaking was difficult for him and so he only was able to stutter: „P p p please. I know I’ve made a m m mistake. I I I know now where my place is and that I’m not an Alpha. Please forgive me. Deliver me from my misery. Please!”_

_“No.”_

_The Omega uttered a last whine and passed out, was, however, soon awaken by an incredible wave consisting out of heat and pain that ran through his whole body. Heavy-lidded, he searched for the only person who could help him and found his Alpha sitting on a chair, reading a newspaper._

_Again, he begged Steve to help him and once more, his mate refused to do so._

_“It’s your duty to help your Omega!”_

_Steve didn’t even look up. He turned the page and replied: “I would help my Omega but you told me that you aren’t one.”_

_Clint understood that Steve punished him for having claimed to be an Alpha and he knew that he had to make it alone threw the heat cycle. In his desperation, he tried to pleasure himself. He knew that it wouldn’t be anything close to the relieving effect sleeping with his Alpha would have, but it was better than nothing. To his misery, Steve wasn’t content. Not saying a single word, he heaved Clint on the bed and chained him in an x-shape to the bed posts, making it not only impossible for Clint to touch himself but also to curl into a little ball to soothe the pain at least a little bit. The Captain watched him for a while how he bugged around helplessly, how he was shaken and how he seized up. He watched how beads of sweat and tears dropped down his Omega’s face. Heard the choking sounds and the whining of Clint who wasn’t able to think clearly anymore, but nothing softened his heart to make an end to Clint’s suffering. Instead, he leaned back eventually, opened his newspaper again and continued reading unmoved an ad about Doritos._

As soon as Loki had begun showing Clint the horrible images, the archer slumped down and rolled on the floor, but this time not to cool the heat raging inside. It was his way of trying to escape this terrible pictures. Additionally, he covered his ears and pressed his eyelids tight together. Still his face was tearful. Only once, he tried to jump up, to silence Loki. But the God only lifted his hand. He didn’t touch him. Till Clint had the feeling that a cold hand clasped his neck and his legs gave in.

He wasn’t sure about most of the things Loki had shown him. Didn’t know if they were true or not. But it was different with this memory. It forced its way into his brain from the outside and he felt that it was a lie Loki had come up with to incite him to fight Steve. He yelled in a helpless effort to distract himself from the images Loki kept showing him and hit his fists on his own head.

Suddenly, the image of the relentless Captain America disappeared. But the false knowledge about it - of having been tortured by Steve - stayed. Clint went on screaming for quite a while till he was hoarse as he couldn’t cope with the situation any longer. Everything, absolutely everything, he had believed in turned out to be wrong. His whole life was a lie and now even his bogeyman wasn’t right. His friend Steve with whom he had fought side by side was the bad guy, his archenemy Loki cared for him, behaving totally out of character. He simply didn’t know what was right and what was wrong anymore.

Loki waited patiently. Just when the archer opened up his tight curl, he pointed with his scepter at his heart and commanded Clint to go to Hydra before the archer had a fair chance to defend himself. “Oh and forget that I’ve been there.”

Clint’s eyes lit up blue before they went dark and blank. Automatically, he stood up and went through the door that was in the wall like it had never been gone.

* * *

 

Scowling, Clint leaned against the cold wall of his prison cell and stared at the closed door. Still being convinced that his idea how he could sneak into the Hydra base had been brilliant, his disgruntled expression turned into a pout. Bethinking himself of his roots, he had decided to not ask Hydra for help. That would have been insane. Crawling through the ventilation system and trying to steal the serum seemed compared to this almost reasonable. How should he have known that Hydra had seriously built an alarm into it?

The door opened creakingly and a man slid in.

“Sorry, but visiting time is over,” mumbled Clint who wasn’t in the mood right now to talk to a Hydra agent. There would be more enough time later anyway.

“Is that so, Omega?”

Heat flashed through Clint and he jumped to his feet. His tiredness was blown away. The Hydra Agent grinned. “You really thought the whole base consists just out of Betas?”

The archer inhaled the air and it gave him collywobbles when he noticed the Alpha scent.

His eyes narrowed to slits and he went automatized into a fighting stance. Grimly, he asked: “What do you want from me?”

“No, the question is what do you want from us?” returned the agent the question.

Forced by an inner compulsion, Clint blurted out: “I want the serum to turn into an Alpha!”

The Hydra agent’s eyebrow raised and stayed in that arched position as if he had forgotten it up there. “That’s the reason why you are here? No Avengers mission?”

Eagerly Clint nodded and shook his head at the same time as he wanted to say “Yes that’s why I’m here” and “No, no Avengers”. Feeling that he made a fool of himself with that, he stopped. “You need a guinea pig to test your stuff and I need it for other reasons. It’s a win-win situation. Your bosses will be thankful if you offer them an experienced fighter who doesn’t have to start from scratch after the transformation. You will be able to see if it turns people into Super Soldiers immediately. Great, right?” He smiled and saw himself a step closer to his goal.

The agent returned his smile but it didn’t reach his cold eyes. “Yeah, great,” repeated he. Clint’s smile froze and stayed like stapled on his face. He felt that something was wrong but was still in denial about it.

With one fluent motion, the slightly taller man ripped Clint’s shirt away. The archer stumbled back aghast but still didn’t want to give up. He had a mission: the serum.

Trying it the cheeky way, he lured: “C’mon, you need someone to test it. I’m here. I’ll do it. For free!”

“Yes, you truly are just like made for this job. Just perfect to create a Super Soldier..”

Happily, the archer nodded and a grin found its way back on his lips. Finally, he was at the goal of his dreams.

The features of his visitors hardened and went almost daunting. “Well, but to be honest, I prefer you as an Omega, sweetheart. Would be a waste to turn you into an ordinary Alpha.”

Horrified, Clint made a step back. His smile deadened. Pointing at his bitemark, he explained with wavering voice: “I’m already bonded.”

However, the agent didn’t care for his solid objection and followed him. “Well, the bond between you and your Alpha can’t be strong. At least you are here on your own and you asked for the serum.” He licked lecherously over his lips and undressed Clint with his eyes blatantly.

The Omega stumbled back even more but felt the wall in his back stopping him. Breathing in deeply, he expelled a thought that flashed through his mind and showed him the exact scenery: being caught between a wall and an unrelenting Alpha.

Clint knew exactly what would follow. He never would forget what had happened to him back then. His eyes watered and he blinked quickly as he didn’t want to show any weakness by crying in front of the Alpha.

He wanted to sound determined when he threatened: “Don’t do it. Steve will kill you if he finds out!” but failed his goal gloriously.

“Captain America is your Alpha?” Against expectation, his visitor wasn’t impressed. “You mean that guy who had been himself an Omega before an insane scientist pumped some drugs into him? Was it his idea to get you such a serum too?”

Not answering, Clint bit his lips and had only one thought: “Oh shit!” He had made Steve’s real past, Captain America’s biggest secret, public, but only in a bad tabloid of which he had been convinced that no one would read it anyway. It didn’t matter. He had just wanted to shock Steve as a revenge for treating him the way he did and bonding him without asking. So why the hell did the Hydra agent need to read it?

Resigned, Clint’s shoulder’s slumped down and he bowed his head. However, the agent took the Omega’s chin and lifted it so that he had to look into his eyes. Before Clint was able to react, he felt how chapped lips were pressed on his and how a wet tongue wanted to have access to his mouth.

Disgusted, Clint tried to turn his head away but the grip on his chin was too strong and also didn’t get weaker when he started to push his assaulter away. The hand around his chin slid down to his neck and choked him. Tears flooded Clint ‘s eyes and he whimpered. Why did everyone know about the weak point of Omegas? Did Alphas learn that in school, or what? If this point that let his knees go weak would have been somewhere on his arm, he would have cut it off without hesitating. His neck, however… Would be a little bit difficult to run around without head…

Metallic tinkling made him aware that the agent was about opening his belt, though he still hadn’t broken their kiss yet.

Just in the moment, when Clint was forced down on his knees, right in front of the crotch of the Hydra agent, the door opened a second time and another agent went in.

The Omega’s eyes went wide and his breath irregular. They wouldn’t together…?

But no. His assaulter started back being caught in the act and whispered into his ear: “We are not done yet!” leaving goosebumps all over Clint’s body when he felt the hot breath on his skin.

He felt dirty and wiped with his left hand over his mouth before he clasped his arms around his trembling body.

Clint was so absorbed by this feeling that he neither took notice how the contours of the person that had interrupted the foreplay blurred slightly and showed a way leaner, long haired man, nor did he hear the whispered “I told you, I’m taking care of you.”

The time passed but no one came back. With every minute, Clint went more and more edgy. He wasn’t used to getting no attention when he was imprisoned. Usually, the bad guys tried to get information from him either by yelling at him or by torturing him. Not that he was keen on getting again his bones broken systematically but somehow he could have borne that easier than the tension of not knowing what would happen next and the fear that the Alpha might make his threat become true and came back to finish what he had started.

First, he killed time by remembering how awesome Coulson had saved him once. How he had stood in the entrance, his face in the shadow, the golden sun in his back, being only XX with a night-night gun. But he stopped his train of thought abruptly as it made him sad because he knew that no one would come and save him this time. So he stood up, lifted his arms, and pretended that he held one of his beloved arrows in his hands. He breathed in, drew the bow to his anchor point, relaxed aimed, breathed out and released his imaginary arrows. Then he repeated his routine, again and again. It calmed him down and his too fast heart beat went to a normal pace.

Suddenly, the door was torn open and he flinched back fearfully. Angry about his embarrassing reaction, Clint put on an unreadable mask. But he wouldn’t have needed to do that. No one entered his prison. He just got a book thrown against his chest. One of the edges jabbed him painfully into his skin. Astonished, he picked it up and flipped through it, knowing immediately whom this book belonged to. It was his! They had given him back his diary which they had taken away along with all his other private stuff except his clothes. Happy, he kept turning the pages and didn’t waste a thought if the Hydra agents had read it and made fun about it. All that counted was that he had it back.

Having time in abundance, he started reading his journal right from the beginning but got stuck between the years 1991 and 2009. There were almost twenty years missing. Knitting his brow, he tried to remember what he had done during this long period. Lost in thought, he went to the next pages and recoiled. Gray and scrawly was written one word over one of his entries: Loki.

He leaned forward and sniffed on the page. Coal. His gaze fell upon his left hand and his slightly burned index finger and thumb. Out of nothing, he saw himself lying on the floor reaching for a piece of coal that had fallen out of the fireplace and writing, using the last of his strength, into his book before a strident voice talked to him. A voice he knew just too well: Loki’s.

Like a puzzle, Clint started to remember piece by piece what had happened during the last day. He remembered what Loki had told him, remembered that he had been with him allegedly for twenty years. Wait! Twenty years. Quickly he went back to the part where this time period was missing and finally, the scales fell from his eyes: There were a couple of entries but without dates. But not because he had been too lazy to write it down. The simple reason was that he hadn’t known the day nor the month or year on the planet where Loki had held him prisoner.

Screaming, he threw his diary against the wall and buried his head. So Loki had said the truth. Tears dropped down his face but Clint didn’t care as well as he didn’t care that he was shaken by sobs and almost couldn't breathe because of them. He simply sat there, being devastated, and cried till he fell asleep exhaustedly.

* * *

 

Restlessly, Steve tossed in his bed. It was in the middle of the night. Clint had decided to sleep in his own bed whilst he had sent Steve away to sleep in his room. So the Captain was alone. Still, he felt the archer’s presence. Not his physical but his spiritual one. Their bond that existed since they had mated made this possible. Since Clint had gone crazy but still had come back, it had started to heal. However, there had been a moment when it dared to rip apart again. Steve hadn’t been able to explain it as Clint had sat good-humored next to him just in that particular moment. This time, however, the feeling was completely different. It was neither rage nor forgiveness. It was rather like Clint cried for him. Like he needed his help. Additionally, the Alpha had the impression that he could feel pure desperation and anxiety haunting his Omega. Breathing quickly, Steve startled up, jumped out of the bed and ran to Clint. Something was wrong with him; otherwise, he never would reach out for him.

Less than a minute later, he reached Clint’s room, tore the door open and stormed to the bed where the archer was lying and sleeping deep and sound. Moonlight fell upon his face and his naked upper body. Steve watched him sleeping for a while, making sure that his partner was alright and wanted to leave already, believing that it had just been a false alarm. So he was about placing a soft kiss on the archer’s cheek when his gaze came to a rest on Clint’s upper body again. He held his breath and bowed down closer to the crook of the neck. His hand shot forward and he clasped the sleeping man’s throat. The thus treated opened his eyes wide and saw a face that was taut with anger in front of him.

He was shaken and at the same time pressed into the mattress by Steve who knelt with one knee on him, pinning him on the bed. “Who are you?”

Steve was off the wall. The man who lay in his Omega’s bed might look like Clint but he hadn’t the unique sign of their bond on his skin. There was no bitemark. That supported only one conclusion: He was an impostor. This would also explain why the archer suddenly had lost all interest in shooting arrows and avoided his favorite beverage - coffee - like the plague.

Evenly, the doppelgänger raddled down: “I’m Clint Francis Barton. Greatest sharpshooter known to man. Avenger and S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Natasha Romanov’s best friend…” It was like he read off a profile of Clint but not like someone introduced himself.

The Captain had heard enough and dragged the man out of the bed. “You are not Clint. Tell me who you really are!”

“I’m Clint Francis Barton…”

“No!” Enraged, Steve smashed the man’s head against the wall, watched how blood started to stream down the lookalike’s head and how he slumped down. Sitting dazed on the ground, the intruder held his head and looked disorientated around him.

“Where am I?”

Steve hunkered down and wanted to smack the guy for his impudence of pretending so badly to don’t know where he was. But something in the eyes of the man held him back. He saw genuine confusion inside them. And there was something else he could sense: fear.

So instead of smashing his lifted hand against the guy’s jaw, he slowed down and stroked his chin instead, causing the stranger to lift his head.

Now the fear was even more obvious and Steve retreated a little bit. Whoever the guy was, it was an unbonded Omega and as he was an incredibly strong Alpha, the man was, of course, afraid of him.

Steve went back, even more, showing his empty palms, and assured calmingly: “Don’t be afraid. I just want to know who you are and what happened to Clint.”

A faint whisper reached his ears: “I’m Aaron Cross.”

The soldier stumbled back. “You are Clint’s new mate?” His Omega had told him that he had a new partner. Of course, Steve had believed that it was another Alpha but it hadn’t dawned on him that it was another Omega. Such a relationship between Omega and Omega simply wouldn’t work. Just think about heat. How should they break the heat cycles? Only an Alpha was able to do that.

Aaron smiled wryly. “No, we are just friends. Fellow sufferer. Partners in crime. Call it whatever you like.”

Only slowly, Steve understood that Clint had meant with “partner” not a new lover but just a teammate. A friend.

A friend! The Captain’s worried expression brightened up. If he was Clint’s friend, the archer had trusted him. They had spent time together during the last days. So maybe Aaron could lead him to his Omega.

***

Half an hour later, Aaron had told Steve and the other Avengers everything he knew. He even remembered, thanks to the Captain’s “recalibration”, how Loki had brainwashed him and Clint.

Another thirty minutes later, a Quinjet was ready and the location of Clint’s current stay analyzed.

Aaron wanted to join the Avengers but they held him back.

The guy who looked like the archer himself pouted just in the exact way Clint would have done it. “Just because I’m an Omega.” He crossed his arms and stared gloomily dead ahead.

Finally, it was Natasha who decided to take him with them as he might be helpful. Steve was far from being delighted but didn’t want to waste any more time and nodded therefore only briefly.

* * *

 

Then things started to happen very fast. They found the Hydra base. It was like shooting fish in a barrel to take out the guards on the outside without being noticed by the agents in the inside. They sneaked through the corridors, guided by Steve who stopped from time to time, stayed very still and listened what his heart told him, searching for his connection to his Omega and feeling how it went more intensive. They were on the right way.

“Hey what are you doing here?” bawled a Hydra agent taken by surprise. His prisoner who was supposed to be locked up in his cell looked at him, shrugged grinningly his shoulders and disappeared around the next corner. The agent followed him but didn’t make it far. A red haired woman knocked him out effortlessly. Contented, she raised her hand for a high five. “Well done, Aaron!”

The Omega smiled happily. Then they continued on their way, fooling the Hydra agents with the same trick over and over again, always hoping that the knowledge of their presence hadn’t got around already.

Eventually, they reached a locked door. Steve laid his fingers on it. A special feeling seized him. Kicking in the door, he saw what he had already felt in his heart.

His Omega lay half naked on the ground an Alpha upon him. The situation was unambiguous.

Beside himself, Steve’s primal instincts that made him defend his Omega at any cost took over. Not thinking twice and not caring for the fact that he still was a little bit weak because Clint had cut their connection almost completely not long ago what had almost led to his death, he yanked the Alpha away from his Omega, hurled him through the room and followed him to avenge his Omega.

He had already clenched his fist but halted when he heard his mate’s voice: “Told ya my Alpha would come and beat the shit out of you!”

Steve rolled his eyes. Clint never would learn to restrain his loose tongue. But he wasn’t mad. He was happy to have found his Omega just on time and what was even more important to him: Clint had said “ _my_ Alpha”. The archer had never referred to him like this ever before as he hadn’t accepted him but now he had used it on purpose and totally on his own will. That didn’t slip Steve’s attention. He left the Hydra agent aside, not caring for him any longer and sank on his knees next to Clint.

“I’m sorry Clint,” said he plainly, feeling responsible for Clint having been captured by Hydra but also apologizing again for having bonded him against his will.

Clint shook his head. “No, I’m sorry.”

Speechless, they looked each other in the eyes, till Steve bowed down tentatively and dragged Clint carefully into a hug. The archer didn’t flinch back nor did he stiffen like the Captain had been afraid would happen. Instead, he hugged him back and whispered a “Thanks for saving me,” into his ear and added: “Despite I injured you so badly.”

Now it was upon Steve to shake his head. “Aaron has told me you were under the influence of Loki.”

Clint closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he said: “Yeah, but I could have behaved differently.”

Steve took Clint’s head carefully in his hands and stated determinedly: “No you couldn’t.”

“How do you want to know?”

“Because Loki had a hold on me too.” The Captain let off of the archer and fell silent. Aaron had told it to him as Loki had bragged with having defeated Captain America. It had been his plan to set Clint against one of his trusted persons so that Clint would get the wish for the Super Soldier serum himself and the easiest way had been to let one of his friends do something horrible to him, he couldn’t forgive.

Steve didn’t explain all those facts and he also didn’t need to do so. Clint could feel that Steve didn’t lie. His eyelids fluttered and his tight hug loosened. Being exhausted by the time he had spent in captivity, and losing the tension he had since he had been imprisoned, his body relaxed and was ready for a shutdown to recover.

Steve who also was still stricken by the time when Clint had almost cut their bond between them and had almost caused his death, felt how his limbs went heavy as well. Wearied, he let himself sink next to Clint. He knew that they had to get out of here before they would be discovered and so he tried to lift his partner to carry him away to a safe place nevertheless. However, he sank immediately back down on his knees and from there onto his belly, burying Clint partly underneath him. Slowly the world blurred. Feeling how someone reached faintly for his hand, he closed his around it, knowing instinctively that it was Clint’s hand. With a relieved smile on his lips, he blacked out.

* * *

 

_-one week later_

Clint had denied everyone to ask him anything about Loki - who had vanished without a trace - and what he had wanted from him. He didn’t want to talk about it. Just wanted to forget everything. To make peace with himself, he decided to keep holding onto his own version of his past and tried to do his best to get rid of the memories Loki had shown him. Maybe the things Loki had shown him were the actual truth but having lived alone on the street was Clint’s truth. He even started ripping out the pages with the undated entries out of his diary and replaced it with new texts in which he described the past like he wanted it to be. It was like a therapy for him and slowly he found back into the life of an Avenger.

Steve saw how Clint started to feel better with every day and wanted to support this process with an extraordinary idea.

“Bite me.”

Clint knitted his brows and crossed his arms in a defiant gesture: “Are you making fun of me again? I’ve learned my lesson, okay?!” But the soldier only came closer and laid his hands on his mate’s shoulders: “No, seriously, Clint. I’m not mocking you. Please, bite me.” The archer twisted himself free from his grip and asked irritated: “Why should I do that? We are not in a trashy vampire movie.”

Steve wasn’t deterred by Clint’s gruff behavior. He pulled off his shirt and said: “You are right: there is something Alpha-like in you and I used to be an Omega. Maybe if you bite me the bite will stay,” while doing so. His colleague looked at him as if he had a screw loose: “What the fuck, Steve? Even if it would stay – what I doubt – of what use would it be?” Not hesitating a second and with utter conviction, Steve answered: “It would be a sign of our equality.”

But Clint didn’t react as he had hoped. Quite the contrary, the archer’s face went a tad darker. “I thought you give a shit about equality.” Steve sighed, rubbed over his tired eyes and wanted to interrupt him, but Clint didn’t let him. “No, no I am speaking now. I thought you want me on my knees. I thought I am just a contemptible, dependent Omega who needs a master. I thought..”

The Alpha didn’t want to hear Clint’s accusations anymore. The archer knew exactly that it had been Loki’s doing. Unfortunately, he seemed to have problems to get all those lies out of his mind and it couldn’t be denied that Steve had raped him. – No matter if he wanted to do it or not. Still, the soldier had thought that everything would be good after Clint had reached for his hand when they had both almost died in the Hydra base. It had been just a small gesture but it meant the whole world for Steve and he had additionally felt how the bond between them went stronger again. Clint could control his behavior but not the intensity of the bond between them. It always showed the true feelings for each other and it did grow. Every day a little bit more. So Clint was in the process of forgiving or at least understanding him. The knowledge that Loki had a hand in it, helped him. But apparently, the process wasn’t over yet. So Steve decided to interrupt Clint before his partner would get angry again. “I know. And I am so sorry for my behavior. I didn’t think. I just repeated what Alphas said to Omegas when I was young. That was stupid. I’m really sorry.”

Clint was still not convinced and crossed his arms again. Steve had already told him exactly that when he had visited him during a night to say goodbye forever. And already back then, he hadn’t understood why Steve’s attitude towards the subject how Alphas should behave towards Omegas differed so extremely from one moment to the other. Sure, it could be the doing of Loki. But what if the trickster hadn’t intervened? What if Steve had acted with lucid mind instead? The archer knew that Steve had the same doubts as he kept trying to explain his behavior with logical reasons and not with being brainwashed by Loki.

“How comes your sudden change of mind?” Interrogating, Clint looked at Steve and searched for his eyes, which the taller man averted, blushing slightly. But the archer took no denial and so the Captain admitted finally: “I read your diary and..”

“You read my what?!”

Steve hung his head, shrugged his shoulders. “I know that was not okay, but you were gone and I didn’t know where to find you and then I saw your diary and I hoped to get hints..”

Agitatedly, Clint paced up and down, gesticulating wildly. “This doesn’t give you the right to ransack my private stuff! I might be an Omega, but I still have a right to privacy too!” A moment, he halted and looked like he considered punching the Alpha, but then, he only went on running up and down the room, not knowing how he should react to the fact that his partner knew his most secret thoughts.

Contritely, Steve watched his Omega and didn’t excuse himself the first time this evening: “I know. I’m sorry.”

Clint swirled around and approached him angrily: “If you would have used your brain just once, you wouldn’t have to excuse yourself constantly..” Steve didn’t answer. - Only looked very sad and truly sorry.

Clint sighed. “Okay, I think this will lead to nothing. Maybe it was your fault. Maybe not. Whatever. I’m stuck with you. So we have to arrange each other.. And the issue with my diary.. Tell anyone about it and I’m gonna shoot you. Do you understand?” Steve looked up full of hope that they would find a way to live together and nodded quickly.

“Okay, listen: As I am your Omega..” Clint looked like he bit in a citron “..we have to share my heats together. Unless you give me back my suppressants..”

Now it was up to Steve to look furious. Before he could say anything, Clint raised his hands in a pacifying gesture. “Woah, woah, woah, stay calm. It was worth a try, but I knew that this wouldn’t be an option for you. So we spend heat together, but on every single other day, you leave me alone. Do you understand? You don’t treat me like your Omega. You don’t push me around. I don’t ask you for permission if I want to do something. Don’t dare to forbid me missions because you think they are too dangerous for me. That’s my life and I don’t let it be ruined by you or anyone else anymore.”

With those words, he stormed off, leaving a dumbfounded Steve behind, who didn’t know what to say. The Captain was thunderstruck. The words of his partner resounded in his head. He had hoped it would end differently, but he knew that this had just been wishful thinking. He never could right his wrong. So also he didn’t appreciate how the Omega spoke with him, he didn’t punish Clint for it. He had punished him already enough with taking his freedom.

Steve was ripped out of his doom thoughts when the archer suddenly came back with fast steps. Without hesitating, the smaller man took Steve’s head, bent it to the right sight and bit him strongly into his neck. Steve felt a short and sharp sting, but his healing process started immediately. Waiting, Clint stood in front of him and watched him. Or better said: he watched his healing wound. And with every inch that the wound closed and disappeared, his face went darker.

“Knew it.”

Disappointed he already wanted to leave, when he was hold back by soft hands.

“Clint, don’t go! Look!”

Smiling bright, Steve showed at his shoulder.

The archer wrinkled his forehead. Then he had a closer look at Steve’s neck. Tentatively, he reached with his fingers at the area where he had bitten him. He ran his hand over it, a broad smile flashing over his face too. The bitemark had already almost disappeared. But very faint, the impression of his teeth stayed. It was not so obvious like Steve’s mark on his neck, but it was undeniable there. Clint’s smile broadened even more. He had to swallow before he was able to ask: “Do you think it will stay?”

Steve smiled: “I think so. Otherwise, my accelerated healing abilities would have let it disappear already.”

Pensively, Clint looked into the genuinely happy eyes of Steve.

“Y’know what: Maybe you aren’t that wrong..”

Steve shined with happiness. But Clint dampened his high spirits immediately: “But this doesn’t change anything about what I said before: I live my own life and you live yours. Okay?”

Steve nodded.

Clint felt a sting in his heart when he saw Steve standing in front of him with slumped shoulders. He should be angry about this man, but he couldn’t. He had been his friend for such a long time now and also it wasn’t okay what he had done to him, he saw that Steve regretted it from the bottom of his heart. They couldn’t undo it, but he realized if there would be a possibility, Steve would do it. And he saw that Steve didn’t only claim him because of him being an Omega, or because Loki had wanted it. No, he seriously loved him.

It gave him a deep warm feeling: He was loved..

Clint cleared his throat: “I’m not saying that I will shun you forever. Just give me time to get used to the situation. Maybe we get along. Maybe we even become a couple.”

Steve started to beam with joy again and once more, Clint watered his statement down: “Maybe we will be just friends.”

Steve didn’t stop smiling this time and declared: “It would be my honor to be your friend. I can’t ask you to be my boyfriend and I won’t. What I’ve done is inexcusable, but if you ever should forgive me, I will be there. I will wait for you. And I don’t only say it because we are stuck with each other. Because we are not. If you find another partner who can live with this situation, I am ready to accept that you are someone else’s partner and only need me during your heat as long as you don’t cut our bond completely.”

Clint was baffled. That was an immense sacrifice. Even for an Alpha who was sorry. No Alpha shared his Omega with anyone else. But if he would find a Beta, it could work indeed..

Clint had to swallow. A big lump had built in his throat and he was insecure if his voice would fail. So he restricted himself on only one word: “Partners?”

Steve pointed at his faint, light scar, smiled and put out his hand to do a handshake with Clint.

“Equal partners.”

\------

_-two months later_

Steve sat in a comfy armchair and read a book when Clint entered his room without knocking.

“You want to talk with me?” asked he without wasting time with greeting the Captain.

The reading man closed his book and hid a smile. He wasn’t indignant at his impetuous colleague and was happy to be able to watch how he blossomed every day a little bit more, regaining his zest for life.

“Clint?” The question might seem to be superfluous as the archer stood in front of him but Clint and Aaron had fun fooling the others from time to time pretending to be the other person. They toke a liking to the fact that they looked like twins and behaved worse than little kids, having a perverse delight if one of their friends fell for their trick.

The dark blond scratched his neck and dragged his shirt down as by accident by doing so. Thanks to this, Steve could see a bitemark set itself apart from the pale skin and nodded contented. Aaron didn’t have this unique sign, so it really was the archer himself this time.

“Sit down.” Steve made an inviting gesture to the chair in front of him. The archer did as he was told and let himself sink into the cushion looking biding at the Alpha.

However, the older man didn’t explain why he wanted to see him. He was lost in thoughts and the question if he really should ask Clint what he wanted to ask him. Being unsure as it was a touchy subject and he didn’t want to destroy the archer’s good mood, he hesitated but finally blurted out: “I‘d like to sleep with you!” before he could change his mind and fiddled about nervously with his shirt.

His colleague flinched back and contorted his face: “Hell no, I’m not in heat! And if it’s about having kids…You know exactly that I can’t conceive thanks to the suppressants I’ve used to take.”

Steve lowered his head: “No, Clint, don’t blame yourself. I could also be the reason. Dr. Erskine had warned me that I might not turn completely into an Alpha. I hadn’t understood what he meant, but know I do. Maybe the quality of my sperms isn’t good enough…” He trailed off and saw that his revelation seemed to take a load off Clint’s mind, who was apparently happy that it maybe wasn’t his fault.

Using Clint’s more or less good mood, Steve tried to ask him anew to sleep with him and again, Clint reacted angry, being repulsed by the request.

Sour about himself, the Captain bit his lip and chewed on it. Maybe this had been a little bit too straight forward. Maybe he should have asked more diplomatic. But could you ask the question if you could get physical with another person in a politic way at all?

As Clint was already on his way out, Steve called after him: “I know!” He held his left arm into the air as if he wanted to reach for Clint but he didn’t follow him to prevent him from leaving. The younger man stopped and turned around on the door sill. Steve repeated his last sentence and added: “But I have the feeling that sex is something negative for you. You know just something that you have to endure.”

Defiantly and not knowing what his Alpha wanted from him, Clint only stated: “Well, that’s what it is,” and shrugged his shoulders.

“No, it doesn’t have to be like this. I’d like to show you that it can beautiful, romantic, sweet.”

Clint huffed: “It’s anything but that. Maybe for the person who’s in control..”

The Captain got up and came a little bit closer but left enough space between him and his Omega, so that his partner wouldn’t feel like being forced into a corner. “No Clint, for both. But if you think it’s not possible for the bottom, you can have the lead..”

The dark blond tilted his head, raised a brow and asked, not finishing his question though: “You mean I..?”

“Yes.”

“But you are the Alpha.”

Again, Steve reduced the distance between the two of them a tiny bit. “And we both know that I still have a little bit Omega inside me, whilst the heart of an Alpha beats inside your chest. So why don’t we swap roles just like we want and need it?” He hesitated for a second and added half proud, half afraid of how Clint would react, his new pet name he came up with when he had found out that Clint despised “darling” as old fashioned. “..Hotshot.”

“Hotshot?” repeated Clint and made a step toward Steve who scratched his head insecurely.

“If you don’t like it… It’s just that I thought…” The Captain hemmed and hawed and Clint watched him with crossed arms, grinning from ear to ear. He wouldn’t help Steve out of that situation in which he had brought himself.

“Well, you know, you are hot.” Steve blushed but continued explaining: “And you are shooting-genius. And all together you are literally a hotshot…”

The archer’s smile broadened even more. That was a pet name he could live with. But then he shook his head in disbelief, turning his attention to what else Steve had just told him. He held his breath, thought about it, and expelled the air finally with the words: “Captain America wants to be the bottom. I can’t believe it.”

Blushing, Steve turned his head away and shifted bashfully from on leg to the other. “Yeah, no need to yell it so loud that everyone can hear it.” Clint grinned: “Hey, you started with that topic.”

The soldier returned his grin before he went on a little bit shy: “Please be gentle, on that score… I’m a virgin.”

This made the archer only to laugh out loud. Taking the Captain’s hand, he dragged him toward his bedroom and promised with a big happy smile: “Don’t worry old man, not after this night anymore.”

 

_Two mighty heroes will learn to live side by side._

_They are meant to be kings._

 

..and whoever is happy is a king.

 

**-the end-**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, guys, that’s it :) Thanks for reading along and a big hug to all of you who kept leaving me feedback! That was so unbelievable motivating and helpful! I loved the discussions with you about what could happen next and I bet you found a couple of your ideas in one oneshot or another.  
> I’ve planned a couple of other projects and I’d be more than happy to see you again there :)  
> But before I start a new story I’d like to work on my writing style. So if you have anything in mind that could be helpful – whether it’s something particular you noticed during reading my stories or something on general – please let me know.
> 
> For everyone who is interested what might be future projects:  
> -part 2 of my Toy Soldier story: “The Toy Soldier’s legacy” – with Bucky as Clint’s brainwash buddy  
> -I thought it could be interesting to transfer Hamlet into the MCU (Tony as Hamlet, Clint as Wanda’s and Pietro’s dad,…) Anyone interested in that?  
> -… (well and a lot of other ideas, but I'll concentrate on the two I've mentioned first)  
> Ideas from you are always welcome! ..because writing makes me happy, and I hope reading makes you happy, and whoever is happy is a king.


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